My heart is full
but not in the conventional sense
I guess.
It’s full of conflict.
Unshed tears.
Silent hopes.
Raging resentment and anger.
Tenderness.
Wishes and Desires
to erase the pain
and embrace the healing.
But I protect it. This heart of mine.
I have a huge steel shield around it.
I try not to let things out or in.
And that is sad. It’s not brave or safe or right.
It’s sad and prohibitive.
And not following my own advice to feel and revel in the feeling.
It’s comfortable, not safe.
So I will try to follow my own advice.
I will try to feel and revel in it.
I will try to let go.
Heal.
Smile.
Laugh.
Cry.
Feel.
My heart is full.
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